She has not been interested in me physically or emotionally for years.In the past year she sneaks off to his house while I’m at work and even on weekends while I’m out of town delivering OUR kids to camp.He is recently divorced and 12 yrs younger than she. She gets so wrapped up in these illicit escapades that she has been observed by police speeding home at 70mph to meet a “kid” deadline – I assume they were so “into” each other that she lost track of time. The very first thing she does when she gets off her workshift is to phone him before arriving home to her family.Since meeting him, she has shed 20 pounds, gotten a facelift, and is creating body beautiful by rigorously “working out”.When she is out of town, she phones her boyfriend, not me, her husband.She lies to high heaven when I gently question her about her whereabouts. She has said to HIM: “it would be so much better if God just took him” (meaning ME).What’s a faithful husband w/4 great kids to do:Stay? Leave? Revenge?
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gather evidence, then divorce the tramp… the evidence is to help you get the kids, by what you say it seems like she is not being a good mom either. legally and bibliclly you have grounds for divorce… but get that evidence
I’m so sorry. I don’t understand why this happened, or why she did it. Don’t think about things like revenge, it will leave you bitter, and hurt you and your kids. Remember as much as a tramp as she may be your children -whether they are pissed at her or not- still love her as their mother. Gather evidence, consult a lawyer, and be direct with her. It seems that you haven’t actually sat down and confronted her about this. You know an awful lot of her conversations, and things like that. If you haven’t confronted her, and I don’t mean in a mean, or violent way, you need to. Sit her down, and tell her you know she’s cheating and that you’ve already consulted with a lawyer, and now that you know you guys need to make plans for whatever it is that lies ahead.
Remember if you do decide to get divorced even if you don’t want the relationship, you will probably go through what they call the stages of grief. Good luck
my question is that if both of you know what is going and she’s not lying about it, then as a human being i would say move on. File for divorce and i’m sure u’ll find someone faithful out there for you.
It is so sad but that’s what happens when there is not love any more … So if she is having an affair and you know it why to stay? why dint you just go away , get divorce do something be a man get your own way, you will get over with time because love and pain are not forever those things are like the season it comes and go there will be a new summer, fall or whatever season you like the most to make it yours take and try to be happy…….. good luck
If she denys having affair then follow her and when you catch her – tell her you want marriage counseling or out.
Kathy
Heck build a case against her, then file for divorce.
Fill your life with your children. She has gone off the deep end, and seriously needs help. But that’s for her to seek, and it doesnt appear as tho that’s on her agenda.
Hell no, dont you dare leave. Since this is HER choice, she’s the one to leave. You and the kids stay! When you drop that in her lap, she’ll probably decide this young stud isnt all that exciting…And he probably doesnt want her as a responsibilty either. That will be your subtle revenge.
Leave. And take your kids with you. Absolutely do NOT use your children as weapons against your wife. This is terribly damaging to the children, and it’s horrible when people do this. File for divorce on the grounds of infidelity. You actually have a pretty good case for primary custody if her illicit affair keeps her from being a fit mother. You also don’t want your kid to grow up thinking infidelity in marriage is acceptable.
I always hate to give advice for a marriage to end, but it seems apparent she’s not willing to work it out. You don’t need this aggravation, and your kids deserve better. Sorry.
Well I would certainly confront her and tell her that you know what she is up to with her coffee friend. Ask her why is she staying with you if she is sleeping with someone else… is it due to the fact that you are more financial secure than the younger guy.. maybe have a nicer home ..a pension plan for retirement … nicer things .. you know us women we like to have nice things..and don’t like to loose them..there could be all kinds of reasons that she comes home to you as she thinks you don’t know about him. Once you confront her and hears her answer then you will have to make a decision.. as to wether you decide to stay and put up with it or tell her to move on… It does not say in the Bible that you can be married for any length of time and if and when you become dissatisfied with your partner .. then you can go and find another to commit adultery with. That is one of the commandments.. Thou shalt not commit adultery…But I do feel that this needs to be discussed as soon as possible and everything gets sorted out immediately and stopped and she comes back home and start treating you like the husband you are and like when you were first married. Love — compassion — caring — needing you… If she does not want to stop then you need to make a decision…
Dump her!! dont worry about revenge think of Karma!! Get rid if her life is too short!!
Since you have known this is going on and for a long time you must be okay with it. You must have a reason for staying and its not the kids. No person would stay knowing there spouse is cheating on a on going basis. So you had might as well stay and enjoy it.
Leave and leave the kids. That will be revenge enough if they are small kids and she doesn’t have the Babysitter (you) to watch them while she does whatever. Still tend to the kids and love them but you deserve so much more.
ha revenge… with her sister of best friend… first tell them the situation as a sad desperate man without her knowing it… then do wat she has been doin with no regrets… who cares buddy u already lost ur women now worry bout ur needs…
find a hot girlfriend – even if you have to fake it -
show her
leave her
let her know you know
and move on
someone who appreciates your love will come along!!!!
always love your kids, dont let your anger for her get them hurt
File for divorce, get custody of your children, and find someone latter on, who will respect you.
My friend, I was in a very similar situation except with only two kids. I hate to break this to you but if what you are saying is 100% true, your relationship as man and wife is most likely over. It will be very hard for you and especially the kids to accept but such is life. If and I say if, she hasn’t made love with him thus far, it’s only a matter of time till she does. Revenge is not the answer it will only make things worse. Please remember your kids. You are not the only one who is going to suffer in this they will too. Your entire family will be effected in some way. Best thing to do here is to make plans to let her go her own way. You need to keep the kids and help them through this along with yourself. There is a possibility when she does go her way that she may decide the grass is no greener on the other side. She may come back and beg for forgiveness. That’s something that you need to consider also. I wouldn’t completely close and lock the door but the door is now definitely closed! Good luck and God Bless your family!
Your answer is in your first line of your question, “She has not been interested in you physically or emotionally for years”. You have been married for 20 yrs! Come on fellow, What are you waiting for? I don’t think
things are going to get better if this is what you are waiting for. Yes perhaps worst if that’s possible.
When you take charge of your life and figure out that you deserve to be treated no less than the very best, then you will have started to get you and your children’s life straighten out. My prayers to you & your family.
p.s. next time you see your wife
tell her she sure is a fool.
“that grass isn’t any greener
on the other side of the street,
it all needs firtlelizer to stay
green”
Leave… don’t take that crap and get evidence of her cheating activies. It will make things alot easier for u in the divorce. My aunt was cheating on my uncle and he got evidence so he also got the house and their son.
poor thing… get concrete evidence. show it to her. see what she says. then leave. let kharma get it’s revenge on her. she’s not happy, let her go. (get the kids. don’t let her screw u w/ child/spousal support) looks like u do the work already as it is.
Oh sweetie, that is so terrible! E-mail me if you want someone to talk to and I’ll pray for you and your whole family even. I think the best thing for you to do is pray. God will guide you. And listen to you heart! *Mandie*
I feel for ya, that just sounds, awful. don’t do anything stupid, meaning revenge. cuz she’ll use it against you, in divorce court, as she takes everything you own. take pictures/video of her with her new man.document her relationship until you have enough to dump her, the way she deserves to be dumped. THE HARD WAY! BE NICE, LET YOUR ATTORNEY TAKE CARE OF HER. she is worthless now “damaged goods” . she should mean absolutely nothing to you. again BE NICE! kick her to the curb, with absolutely NOTHING! that’s what the pics/vids. are for.
Leave, take the kids with you cos she’s obviously not mature enough to care for them… put your evidence together n go to court, make her pay alimony for the kids… get a new life cos she’s not worth it!
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